Look after your mental well being

 In Bulalicious Blogs

In this day and age mental health is a topic that more and more of us are willing to talk about. What was once a taboo subject in many cultures and social groups is now discussed more openly and with less stigma than in previous times. Not only are we keen to look after our physical appearance, but also we are now more than ever seeing the importance the effect a healthier mind has on our overall well being.
The beginning of the year is a time when people make every new year’s resolution under the sun. On the first day of the new year there are invariably promises of no more chocolates, less alcohol and regular attendance at the gym – and this year in particular the craze seems to be to go vegan. Eventually reality sinks in and the January blues hit, but do we ever stop to make resolutions that would bene t our mind and mental well being?
The January blues are inevitable when we have just spent the past month spending up on festivities, buying gifts for loved ones and indulging in an excess of food and drink. As
wonderful as Christmas is, it is not reality. It’s more like an annual trip to Disneyland but leaves us struggling with the transition back into normality after it’s over.
Mental health can often feel like a pressure cooker, the more you leave it the more it builds up until it gets to a point where you feel overwhelmed by everything that is going on in your life. More often than not the tipping point is a small thing, just the last straw over a long period of events and a build up of stress and anxiety.
Sometimes we become people pleasers, saying yes to anything and everything without thought of how or when we can actually do it or if it is beneficial to us. We just agree to save face. This can be dangerous territory if we burden ourselves with roles and responsibilities that put us under unnecessary stress.
Often the first step when it comes to mental health is admitting that you are not okay. We can kid ourselves in order to keep up appearances. Admitting that you are not okay does not mean you are admitting defeat, it means you are strong enough to ask for help.
Perception is reality, so as long as people believe that you are ok they won’t think that you needed help. This can be dangerous and lead you to feel that you are living a lie when just talking to a friend, colleague or family member could be an answer to relieving your problems.
We live in a time where we think we know it all. We have 24 hour access to the internet and can just Google to get us an answer within seconds. When this leads us to thinking we have the answers to everything, it is what stops us from asking for help. When you self diagnose your mental health issue on the internet, your outcome may not be pretty.
The answers you found probably advised doing yoga or taking the latest stress pill to ease anxiety. But this is the time to step away and take advice from others, to really listen for a change.
The way we often see it is whatever we are doing at the moment is clearly not working, so advice from others surely can’t hurt. But often you’ll be surprised at the great advice they have to offer.
Once you have admitted you are having issues with mental health, the next step is to look at the root of the problem. Was it the passing of a loved one? A childhood memory that still affects you? The friendship group that you surround yourself with? Once you address the cause then you are on the path to identifying how you can deal with it.
It is also important not to force yourself to feel a certain way. If you are sad it’s okay to cry and have a down day. Suppressing feelings or disguising your true feelings can be detrimental because you are pretending that you feel one way when in actual fact you feel the complete opposite.
It is important for us to look at those around you; as they often say, “your tribe affects your vibe.” If those around you are motivating and full of beans it shows through your personality and character. Look for quality not quantity in those you let closest to you. A few amazing friends are worth much more than ten acquaintances. If you find yourself keeping company with those who continuously find the negative in a situation, it can quickly become a very toxic environment.
Sure, not everything in the world is perfect, but positivity attracts positivity and negativity spreads like wild fire. Even in the company of friends and loved ones remember to try and find the good in all situations and you’ll be surprised how enriching it is for your soul.
One of our favourite sayings is “Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events and great minds discuss ideas.” So the next time you are listening to someone character bashing another, look to change the subject. Look to spend time with the kind of people who can have a two way conversation and listen just as much as contribute to a conversation. Be around those who don’t just give you lip service when they ask you how your day was and who genuinely care what you have been up to and what your plans are.
You soon realise what it means to have real friends and what qualities it takes to be a real friend. Think of yourself made up of jelly beans and every time you are there for a friend you give them a jelly bean, when you call them to see how their week was you give them another. Imagine if they didn’t return the gesture – how are you able to restock your jelly beans? There is only so much you can give of yourself before you are left with nothing.
Friendship is a two way street. Everyone in life is busy, but we must make it a priority to invest quality time into our mental wellbeing.
Loloma Levu,
The Bulalicious Active wear Team

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